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A Key to Being an Ally
Heterosexism and Heterosexual Privilege
Homophobia Hurts Us All

Heterosexism and Heterosexual Privilege

All you men out there, have your parents ever asked you if there is a special woman in your life? If you have a girlfriend? For women, have your friends ever asked you if you’ve been out with any interesting men lately? If you have a boyfriend? Have you ever considered why they automatically ask you about someone of the opposite sex? The basis for this assumption is heterosexism, the assumption that everyone is or should be heterosexual and, in some cases, the belief that heterosexuality is superior to other forms of sexual orientation and expression.
Heterosexism pervades all aspects of society, from your parent’s inquiries to magazine ads, to public policy, most social constructions are based on the assumption that everyone’s primary romantic, emotional, physical and sexual attractions are to someone of the opposite sex. Where does this leave LGBT folks? How does this influence their sense of self, their self-esteem? This lack of the presence of LGBT people and issues in the news, pop culture and everyday life stigmatizes LGBT people and makes them feel invisible. Being LGBT becomes “weird” or “abnormal” because it is not seen openly in different facets of society.
Heterosexual Privilege is a big part of heterosexism and the two are inextricably linked. What can you do about heterosexism and heterosexual privilege? The answer is simple: BE AWARE. Be aware of your own assumptions and those of the people around you. Do not assume that your friends are romantically interested in or attracted to people of the opposite sex. Watch television and know that a large segment of the population is not being adequately represented on the news or in sitcoms. Question your own assumptions and those of others. Don’t assume that everyone is straight!

Heterosexual Privilege

Heterosexual Privilege is a big part of heterosexism and the two are inextricably linked. I have heterosexual privilege if:

  1. I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people of my sexuality most of the time.
  2. I can, if I wish, expose my sexuality as a member of the armed services without fear of dischargement.
  3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to my sexual orientation.
  4. I can be sure that I will not be denied the right to marry whomever I choose to because of my sexual orientation.
  5. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my sexuality widely represented.
  6. When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization”, I am shown that people of my sexual orientation made it what it is.
  7. I can be pretty sure that I can adopt children.
  8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of my sexuality.
  9. I can be sure I will not be denied insurance, employment, or credit due to my sexuality.
  10. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them because of my sexuality.
  11. I do not have closet anxiety.
  12. I can publicly display my affection to my loved one without fear of harassment or attack.
  13. My sexual orientation is honestly portrayed in the media.
  14. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my sexuality.
  15. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to “the person in charge”, I will be facing a person of my sexuality.
  16. I don’t have to hide my sexuality in certain situations for personal safety.
  17. I can leave a nightclub consisting mostly of people of my sexuality knowing I will not get harassed or attacked for my sexuality.
  18. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared because of my sexuality.
  19. I can reference my sexuality to someone without fear of negative consequences.
  20. I need not fear financial and emotional truncation from my family simply due to my sexuality.
  21. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my sexuality will not work against me and that my partner will be able to visit me.

Source: Adapted from http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~maxwell/fest/privilege.html